I hope that 3rd time is a charm, because this is my 3rd time trying to complete this blog. We were asked to give our WEEKEND GET AWAY WHERE WE COULD GET CLOSE TO GOD.
I did not get the true experience of what the RETREAT meant to me until my GRANDSON asked me "WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE RETREAT". At 1st I said, "It was good". Then I got to think about it. "What would GOD have for me?" It didn't take long. What do I love? (This was answered many times) I love being with people and talking about GOD. I did very much. God provided me with some very close new friends. This was truly wonderful. Also, I love to walk. This covered the whole weekend, starting on Friday night in the NIGHT WALK. This was outstanding. Even though it was cold, it didn't seem to matter. Being able to see in the dark, being near everyone, hearing people's comments, having someone we had to trust to know that he would not lead us to get lost or to stumble was truly satisfying. It was certainly a reflection of how we MUST trust in GOD, since HE is the only one we can trust to put our lives in. Since I am an early riser and just don't like laying around and doing nothing, naturally, I went for a walk. It was beautiful. Going in the same area from the night before and seeing ,in the daylight, the actual beauty of the rocks and trees was overwhelming. Since I couldn't walk on the same path as the night before, I saw a wider path. Thinking to myself, (I am going to stay on the wide path, so I don't get lost) It was so beautiful with the purple flowers than yellow flowers. It was just simply breathtaking. Than I saw a sign saying PRAYER WALK. I thought to myself, (I will take this 1, Certainly they wont allow you to get lost on a PRAYER WALK). So I went walking, but what do I find but a dead end. I took a side path and found a PRAYER WALK sign and continued to follow the path. Where did this lead me but to a water crossing. It was not deep, it had branches and rocks in it. If it were summer, I would have gladly taken it. But it was cold, I have hurt myself several times in the past year and debated on trying it. I have been BLESSED WITH A GREAT DEAL OF FAITH. However, I guess I chose the common sense thing and turned around. When I got back and was telling people about this, Jessica was the only 1 that asked me, " Did I cross the water?" She stated that Several times. It got me to thinking, WHY DIDN'T I CROSS THE WATER? I KNEW I COULD. The next time, I will do it unless they have it closed off, like the other place that was closed. In finishing this walk, there was 1x that I thought I was really lost. I thought about calling PAM, but instead continued to ask GOD to guide me. As you can see, GOD helped me to find my way back. Sunday morning the same thing. I was up before everyone, so naturally I got my things together and left for another walk. Here I found the BIG PRAYER SIGN and walked to it. It was absolutely a beautiful area where you could see 3 crosses standing there and their reflection in the water. It was very thought provoking. Then I walked in another direction and found water flowing like a small waterfall. Other things that I love is doing something different. Thanks to Megan I have a video of me zip lining. that was sooo much fun. Thanks to Shannon, I did the craft which I had never done. As soon as I saw the picture, I knew I had to do it. I love it. I also love to volunteer. I am no seamstress, but found ways that I could be of help. To put the icing on the cake, "The emotion and sincerity through the singing and speakers topped it all. It truly made for an awesome experience in which GOD FOUND A WAY FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO APPRECIATE ALL THE HANDIWORK OF THE PEOPLE WHO ALLOWED GOD TO LEAD THEM IN THIS BLESSED EXPERIENCE.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
In Over my Head
When Jaki referenced me in her lyrics post it was because I had written this post, saved it as a draft, but not published and then deleted it. But after she posted some music lyrics I decided to re-do this post. Jaki sang this song at retreat and it was such a beautiful song to go with the theme of Fullness in Christ. Thomas is a musician and for him he likes lyrics of songs but I can tell for him it's more the beat and the music he really loves, but for me it has always been about the poetry of the words. Getting to why I wanted to share this song with you. Most people sing along to songs but don't really deeply think about the lyrics unless you actually read them. I love to pull up the youtube video and look at the lyrics while i'm listening. And I will post the link to the youtube video at the bottom. Watch it! Bethel did a bunch of live songs in the most AMAZING location it's one reason I could watch the video over and over.
I have come to this place in my life
I’m full but I’ve not satisfied
This longing to have more of You
ANd i can feel it my heart is convinced
I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched
You already know this but still
Come and do whatever You want to
I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I've never been
And i feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind
Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in
Let love come teach me who You are again
Would you Take me back to the place where my heart
Was only about You And all I wanted was just to be with You?
Come and do whatever You want to
Further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, and that's where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
I’m Beautifully in over my head
I’m Beautifully in over my head
And Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry. And whoever believes in me will never go thirsty." John 6:35
I have come to this place in my life
I’m full but I’ve not satisfied
This longing to have more of You
ANd i can feel it my heart is convinced
I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched
You already know this but still
Come and do whatever You want to
I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I've never been
And i feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind
Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in
Let love come teach me who You are again
Would you Take me back to the place where my heart
Was only about You And all I wanted was just to be with You?
Come and do whatever You want to
Further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, and that's where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
I’m Beautifully in over my head
I’m Beautifully in over my head
And Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry. And whoever believes in me will never go thirsty." John 6:35
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Night Hike Observations
From retreat, anyone want to throw some observations out from the night nature hike?
Perspective
I love reading the Bible with Jed! He is on his second time thru "the Action Bible" and I always seem to learn details about scripture. In addition, God is always faithful to point out something that applies to my life too! Earlier this week we read about the 12 spies that scouted out the promised land. Only Joshua and Caleb came back with the right perspective- seeing God's good promises and not distracted by fears and overwhelming odds. You'll have to read the end of the story in Numbers 13 and 14 to know the end of this tragic tale.... but before we bash the 10 spies who didn't remember the miraculous things God did for them (and the horrific consequences it had), let me encourage you Sisters, remember what God has said to you (write it down!!), imerse yourself in God's word so you know His character and His promises!! Walk faithfully in your day with a mind that remembers what God has done and eyes that see the amazing things God has for you!
Rocks
Jamie has mentioned these jars or rocks, and If you haven't seen her demonstration I would recommend you take a moment to stop and check it out. When I first saw her demonstration, I thought what a cute, simple way to show fullness. As I thought more about the rocks that fill my life, such as, "how big IS my God rock in comparison to the other important, good, busyness or busybody, or wasteful rocks that I am putting in my life?" I wasn't to pleased with my answer.
The jar concept is, if you put God first the rest can go in. But also, am I filling my life with what Gods truth, reality, and perspective is or am I just trying to be busy so I'm not looked down upon.
My perspective vs Gods perspectives. What he knows is best for me and who I'm supposed to be involved with. It's time for me to pull every thing out of that jar and examine it. Getting rid of any bad habits or things I'm enslaved to. Like bing watching Netflix instead of playing with my kids.
Checking if these good things are what God wants me to do or if it's time to let go. Maybe God has new rocks waiting for me and I need to leave some space in my jar for them. As I go through these hard choices I need to read Gods word and stay close to him daily. From one day to the next I struggle to remain close to God and thankfully his mercy is new every morning (lamentations 3:24-27).
As I purge my jar, literally and figuratively, I know God will be with me. Whether I 'feel' victorious or morn the loss of something I have invested a lot of myself into, if I give it to God then he gets the glory and can use that in another persons life. This isn't an easy process for me and I have been avoiding really getting into it.
You may not have noticed, but the church has a rain garden. In dry times it looks like a unmowed ditch. Its purpose is to collect the extra water from rainstorms and filter the extra back into the ground water so that the water treatment plant isn't overwhelmed.
God has given me the opportunity to let him be my rain garden. To filter my life through his perspective and leave only what is useful and edifying for the body. (Ephesians 4:12&29)
“Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?”
Psalm 56:8 NIV
http://bible.com/111/psa.56.8.niv
I don't need to hold onto my rocks. God already has them written down. If he has a scroll (jar) just for my tears, then I know I can trust that he cares for the rest of my rocks and they are safe in his care. It's time for me to write down and throw some rocks into our rain garden. Let God filter my life through his perspective and become full of life that is Zoe life.
Please hold me accountable to this! I have a feeling I'm going to get really busy and not take the time to check and make sure these rocks (good works or whatever that fills my day) are supposed to be in my jar.
Thanks,
Theresa
The jar concept is, if you put God first the rest can go in. But also, am I filling my life with what Gods truth, reality, and perspective is or am I just trying to be busy so I'm not looked down upon.
My perspective vs Gods perspectives. What he knows is best for me and who I'm supposed to be involved with. It's time for me to pull every thing out of that jar and examine it. Getting rid of any bad habits or things I'm enslaved to. Like bing watching Netflix instead of playing with my kids.
Checking if these good things are what God wants me to do or if it's time to let go. Maybe God has new rocks waiting for me and I need to leave some space in my jar for them. As I go through these hard choices I need to read Gods word and stay close to him daily. From one day to the next I struggle to remain close to God and thankfully his mercy is new every morning (lamentations 3:24-27).
As I purge my jar, literally and figuratively, I know God will be with me. Whether I 'feel' victorious or morn the loss of something I have invested a lot of myself into, if I give it to God then he gets the glory and can use that in another persons life. This isn't an easy process for me and I have been avoiding really getting into it.
You may not have noticed, but the church has a rain garden. In dry times it looks like a unmowed ditch. Its purpose is to collect the extra water from rainstorms and filter the extra back into the ground water so that the water treatment plant isn't overwhelmed.
God has given me the opportunity to let him be my rain garden. To filter my life through his perspective and leave only what is useful and edifying for the body. (Ephesians 4:12&29)
“Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?”
Psalm 56:8 NIV
http://bible.com/111/psa.56.8.niv
I don't need to hold onto my rocks. God already has them written down. If he has a scroll (jar) just for my tears, then I know I can trust that he cares for the rest of my rocks and they are safe in his care. It's time for me to write down and throw some rocks into our rain garden. Let God filter my life through his perspective and become full of life that is Zoe life.
Please hold me accountable to this! I have a feeling I'm going to get really busy and not take the time to check and make sure these rocks (good works or whatever that fills my day) are supposed to be in my jar.
Thanks,
Theresa
Pieces by Bethel Music
This inspiration came from Shannon (to give credit where it's due!), but my plan is to share some song lyrics along with YouTube links to videos from time to time. I open these on my phone and listen to them at home (so you don't have to buy them), and they always bless me. Feel free to do the same!
"Pieces"
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn't shy, it's unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me
You don't give Your heart in pieces
You don't hide Yourself to tease us
Uncontrolled, uncontained
Your love is a fire
Burning bright for me
It's not just a spark
It's not just a flame
Your love is a light
That all the world will see
All the world will see
You don't give Your heart in pieces
You don't hide Yourself to tease us
You don't give Your heart in pieces
You don't hide Yourself to tease us
Your love's not fractured
It's not a troubled mind
It isn't anxious
It's not the restless kind
Your love's not passive
It's never disengaged
It's always present
It hangs on every word we say
Love keeps its promises
It keep its word
It honors what's sacred
'Cause its vows are good
Your love's not broken
It's not insecure
Your love's not selfish
Your love is pure
You don't give Your heart in pieces
You don't hide Yourself to tease us
You don't give Your heart in pieces
You don't hide Yourself to tease us
Lies Vs. Truth: Practice with your Sword!
The enemy likes to whisper thoughts in our minds which may seem real or right to us, but are just truths which he has twisted into lies. We have the ability, and the responsibility as growing Christians, to combat these lies with Truth. Remembering that God’s Word is our weapon (Eph. 6:17), we need to familiarize ourselves with the Truth it offers.
Practice using your sword by stating something you have believed, but know is a lie, and follow it with a Truth which is founded in Scripture. Here are some examples:
I am not loved or desired.
*God loves me and desires me.
Hosea 3:19-20, 23: “I will show my love to the one I called ‘not my loved one.’ I will say to those called ‘not my people,’ ‘You are my people,’ and they will say, ‘You are my God.’”
I should feel at home in my surroundings (work, family, etc), but I don’t.
*I live here, but this world is not my home.
John 17:15-18: “They are not of the world, even as I am not of it...As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.”
I don’t know how to witness to others about Christ.
*God enables me to speak about His love to others.
James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given.”
I don’t have what I need to minister to others.
*God gives me everything I need to do the work He has called me to.
Phil. 4:19: “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
I’m too young/inexperienced to truly connect with people.
*My age/experience doesn’t matter, because God gives me favor.
1 Tim. 4:12: “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”
Here are a few to practice with:
I am insignificant to God.
Truth:
Look up John 15:16:
God doesn’t need me to accomplish His goals.
Truth:
Look up 1 Cor. 3:9:
God is too big and important for me to get to know Him.
Truth:
Look up Ephesians 3:12:
I was born, but God probably doesn’t remember me very often.
Truth:
Look up Psalm 139:
What other lies has the enemy been speaking to you? How can you combat them with Truth?
Adventuring with God
Dear sisters,
Last summer, God gave me some really cool insights about stretching my faith and being pushed into uncomfortable situations. He reminded me that life is truly an incredible adventure, and he wants to walk through every moment with me. I hope this is as encouraging to you as it was to me!
"You are an adventurer, waking each day to see the mountains and challenges ahead of you. And I am your supplier. Come to me every day and I will give you provisions. I will teach you to set camp, to climb mountains, and to build fires. I will guide you along steep cliffs and through deep ravines. I will show you beautiful things along every path: The flowers, the animals, the waterfalls, and the sunrises. But if you try this trek without me, you will find it dangerous and difficult beyond your understanding. So stay with me. Never lose connection with me. It may not always be simple or painless -- it may rain or sleet or blizzard somedays. But do you doubt that I will carry you through every rushing river and make camp to keep you safe through every torrential storm?
I AM, my beloved. I never change. Day to day and age to age, I see all things and my understanding is boundless. So keep walking. Keep stepping out on those rope bridges which look terrifying. Keep getting up each day, even when it is cold and wet and awful out. I AM with you always, to the very end of the age."
Much love,
Jaki
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
A Good Kick in the Butt
God's reminders don't always feel like a gentle tap on the shoulder or like a lightbulb flashing in your brain. For me, lately they've felt like a slap in the face or a kick in the butt. But in a good way. In a good way you ask? God knows you, he knows me, in fact he's known us all before the very creation of this Earth. God knows that Shannon Letro is oblivious, stubborn, and very hard headed. He knows that a gentle tap on the shoulder would either go right over my head or it would be ignored if it was not something I wanted to hear. He knows that he has to shake me hard, give me a loving slap and say "Shannon, you listen to me and you listen good." At the beginning of this year I've been feeling God moving me more and more, guiding me, sometimes dragging me into the path he wants me on. Slowly, showing me the plans he has for me. So much so that I've just felt pure excitement and joy about the unknown of his plans. Which is completely not me. Two things you should know about me, I HATE not being in control and I hate surprises (okay, that's not entirely true . I love being 100% surprised. I hate when I know there is a surprise and I have to wait to find out what it is) oh right, that's called being impatient. So, three things you should know about me I'm incredibly impatient. I truly believe God gave me these traits just for fun. Like, he's up in Heaven saying haha I'm going to make her impatient and then I'm going to make her wait for EVERYTHING! For a boyfriend, a husband (I had to wait 5 long years for that wedding ring), for a baby ( waiting 9 long months was the WORST wait of my life. I was so out of control. You better believe he came a week late, 24 hours plus of labor and then had to be cut and pulled out... apparently stubbornness is a trait my son inherited from the very beginning).. and last but not least for his plan for me.
I've watch girls in the early twenties who know exactly what they want to do and God wants them to do and for me that has not been an easy journey and i'm still not 100% sure what he's calling me to do. So without a goal, without a plan, I stumbled and I stopped trying. I walked away from God. I blamed Him for everything bad thing that happened in my life, I figured he didn't care about me because I never felt him speak to me, I never felt like he was listening when I prayed, to the point I started to question His existence. Every Time a stumbling block came I let Satan take hold. Fear and anxiety took hold of my daily life. I was always in a lot of pain from a disease that a lot of doctors don't even believe exist. I had severe panic attacks that put me in the hospital. And instead of taking it all to God I just masked it all with very bad habits that then added deep regrets to my pain and suffering. But then I met a man who was right there in the same part of his journey that I was. It wasn't easy and we still struggled for a few more years but we were both so ready to be done with all the hurt, all the excuses, all the pain and we both realized that the only thing that was going to fix us, the only thing that was going to make us happy, was not each other, it was God. so, we tried church in Florida but it just didn't seem right and a job lead us to Indiana. Then we still, both stubborn as could be, took another year of random sundays and random churches until we walked into White Rock. It just felt like home. Not only has it been our home for almost three years but we have met the most amazing people that have become our family. They have pushed us to further our walks with God.
So here I am, realizing that God was ALWAYS there. Always preparing me, always with a plan for me. Then at the beginning of this year, He said you're almost there, you're almost ready. That's when the excitement came. I was doing so much to further my walk with him. Then it just sort of stopped. I wasn't prepared, that when you are becoming fuller and fuller in God, the devil is going to try really hard to knock you down. I had never had this strong of a relationship with God, so I just didn't know. I was clueless. I became feeling angry towards a lot of things, especially my husband, I began feeling overwhelmed. I stopped walking in the footsteps God laid in front of me and I became distracted and busy. That was right before we started the Armor of God series in our women's group and I didn't want to go. In fact the very Wednesday it was to start I got into a HUGE fight with my husband. Thankfully, those amazing friends, those family members that God has brought in my life convinced me to go. And the very first night BOOM! God slapped me in the face. The line that she said, and I know I won't quote it exactly but she said "It is not your spouse, it is not your children that you are fighting with it's the devil." And she went onto say that if we are not fully protected by the armor of God then we have no chance of fighting the devil and defeating him. What she said hit me so hard. Now, don't get me wrong I still struggled, and I still fought with my husband. But that realization was just step one. It was me realizing that the more I am aligning myself with God and the plans he has for me the harder the devil is going to try and knock me down, pulling me by the hand off that path. So, I was more aware. I tried to reign in anger, my emotions and tried to step back and realize every time it was the devil. I started praying for my husband, I started reading my First 5 app devotion everyday. Yet, I still struggled. Valentine's Day evening after my husband went to bed I came down stairs because I was trying to pull myself out of the black hole the devil was helping me dig and I just cried and prayed. I still try sometimes to pull myself out of things by myself and it never works, because I'm not putting the armor fulling on. You can't be protected fighting an enemy with just a helmet and no shield, sword, or breastplate. One piece of armor does not work without the other. You also can't defeat a powerful enemy on your own. The biggest piece of armor I've been forgetting is God's word. Nothing can be done, no battle can be fought, I can not do things that God wants to do without reading His word. So when I try and try over and over to live my life the way God wants it but without reading His word, am I really living my life the way He wants?
Step two of my realization came the weekend of Women's retreat. All of the speakers talks hit me in a different way but when Jaki spoke about the barriers that keep you from becoming full in God, again BOOM! Kick in the butt from God. She talked about busyness and what we become slaves to in our lives. You know I have had Facebook for about 12 years and have probably only gone a handful of times without checking it daily. Did you know that I watch hours of television, when Malachi is sleeping, or in the background when I'm doing projects instead I could be reading my bible or listening to it! And I never realized that even though I may be filling my life with activities that are good, that if it takes away from being in His word, or giving 100% to the activities that he's called me to do than business whether it's good busy or bad busy is the enemy. So, I came home with a plan. It's not going to all happen immediately but I've already started on some. I deactivated my Facebook. And deleted the apps that I watch tv on. I've spent more time with my kid and less time with us both sitting in front of the tv. But there's still those struggles, I didn't pray for my husband today and we've already had a little tiff. I got off the phone with my husband.. after sending him a not so nice text and immediately regretting it, I prayed for him and us. Then within 5 minutes we were both apologizing. I haven't spent any time cleaning my house and getting my life organized because well it's a mess and I'm overwhelmed and I'm not sure where to start and my one year old doesn't give much time for concentrating on anything but him. In fact, I wrote most of this while he was napping. After reading my first 5 app and reading the Bible first of course. So, in conclusion I just wanted to share my current battle and a little history. I wanted you to know that it's ok to stumble, and stumble some more. God will give you his hand and pick you right back up as long as you ask. But you have to put in the effort to. You have to figure out what your barriers are and how to break through them. Well my kid is screaming and this is much longer than I ever intended on it to be.
I will keep you updated with how I progress with my journey.
Love and God bless, Shannon Letro
I've watch girls in the early twenties who know exactly what they want to do and God wants them to do and for me that has not been an easy journey and i'm still not 100% sure what he's calling me to do. So without a goal, without a plan, I stumbled and I stopped trying. I walked away from God. I blamed Him for everything bad thing that happened in my life, I figured he didn't care about me because I never felt him speak to me, I never felt like he was listening when I prayed, to the point I started to question His existence. Every Time a stumbling block came I let Satan take hold. Fear and anxiety took hold of my daily life. I was always in a lot of pain from a disease that a lot of doctors don't even believe exist. I had severe panic attacks that put me in the hospital. And instead of taking it all to God I just masked it all with very bad habits that then added deep regrets to my pain and suffering. But then I met a man who was right there in the same part of his journey that I was. It wasn't easy and we still struggled for a few more years but we were both so ready to be done with all the hurt, all the excuses, all the pain and we both realized that the only thing that was going to fix us, the only thing that was going to make us happy, was not each other, it was God. so, we tried church in Florida but it just didn't seem right and a job lead us to Indiana. Then we still, both stubborn as could be, took another year of random sundays and random churches until we walked into White Rock. It just felt like home. Not only has it been our home for almost three years but we have met the most amazing people that have become our family. They have pushed us to further our walks with God.
So here I am, realizing that God was ALWAYS there. Always preparing me, always with a plan for me. Then at the beginning of this year, He said you're almost there, you're almost ready. That's when the excitement came. I was doing so much to further my walk with him. Then it just sort of stopped. I wasn't prepared, that when you are becoming fuller and fuller in God, the devil is going to try really hard to knock you down. I had never had this strong of a relationship with God, so I just didn't know. I was clueless. I became feeling angry towards a lot of things, especially my husband, I began feeling overwhelmed. I stopped walking in the footsteps God laid in front of me and I became distracted and busy. That was right before we started the Armor of God series in our women's group and I didn't want to go. In fact the very Wednesday it was to start I got into a HUGE fight with my husband. Thankfully, those amazing friends, those family members that God has brought in my life convinced me to go. And the very first night BOOM! God slapped me in the face. The line that she said, and I know I won't quote it exactly but she said "It is not your spouse, it is not your children that you are fighting with it's the devil." And she went onto say that if we are not fully protected by the armor of God then we have no chance of fighting the devil and defeating him. What she said hit me so hard. Now, don't get me wrong I still struggled, and I still fought with my husband. But that realization was just step one. It was me realizing that the more I am aligning myself with God and the plans he has for me the harder the devil is going to try and knock me down, pulling me by the hand off that path. So, I was more aware. I tried to reign in anger, my emotions and tried to step back and realize every time it was the devil. I started praying for my husband, I started reading my First 5 app devotion everyday. Yet, I still struggled. Valentine's Day evening after my husband went to bed I came down stairs because I was trying to pull myself out of the black hole the devil was helping me dig and I just cried and prayed. I still try sometimes to pull myself out of things by myself and it never works, because I'm not putting the armor fulling on. You can't be protected fighting an enemy with just a helmet and no shield, sword, or breastplate. One piece of armor does not work without the other. You also can't defeat a powerful enemy on your own. The biggest piece of armor I've been forgetting is God's word. Nothing can be done, no battle can be fought, I can not do things that God wants to do without reading His word. So when I try and try over and over to live my life the way God wants it but without reading His word, am I really living my life the way He wants?
Step two of my realization came the weekend of Women's retreat. All of the speakers talks hit me in a different way but when Jaki spoke about the barriers that keep you from becoming full in God, again BOOM! Kick in the butt from God. She talked about busyness and what we become slaves to in our lives. You know I have had Facebook for about 12 years and have probably only gone a handful of times without checking it daily. Did you know that I watch hours of television, when Malachi is sleeping, or in the background when I'm doing projects instead I could be reading my bible or listening to it! And I never realized that even though I may be filling my life with activities that are good, that if it takes away from being in His word, or giving 100% to the activities that he's called me to do than business whether it's good busy or bad busy is the enemy. So, I came home with a plan. It's not going to all happen immediately but I've already started on some. I deactivated my Facebook. And deleted the apps that I watch tv on. I've spent more time with my kid and less time with us both sitting in front of the tv. But there's still those struggles, I didn't pray for my husband today and we've already had a little tiff. I got off the phone with my husband.. after sending him a not so nice text and immediately regretting it, I prayed for him and us. Then within 5 minutes we were both apologizing. I haven't spent any time cleaning my house and getting my life organized because well it's a mess and I'm overwhelmed and I'm not sure where to start and my one year old doesn't give much time for concentrating on anything but him. In fact, I wrote most of this while he was napping. After reading my first 5 app and reading the Bible first of course. So, in conclusion I just wanted to share my current battle and a little history. I wanted you to know that it's ok to stumble, and stumble some more. God will give you his hand and pick you right back up as long as you ask. But you have to put in the effort to. You have to figure out what your barriers are and how to break through them. Well my kid is screaming and this is much longer than I ever intended on it to be.
I will keep you updated with how I progress with my journey.
Love and God bless, Shannon Letro
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